a little bit about my style

i am a romantic.  i just used to be in the closet with this.

as a girl i remember my style inspirations as lisa douglas in green acres  

and truly scrumptious...

and i wanted liesl's dress from the sound of music, all floaty and light, but mostly i wanted to wear anything chiffon, and tiaras, and i simply could not understand why in real life, most people wore ugly sad clothes.  it really seemed like a waste of a life to me.  i dreamed of one day acquiring a life where i could have a reason to wear such clothes instead of being the girl wearing the sensible corduroy boot cut jeans and wool sweater with brown loafers. 

the reality was as a teenager and student i had no special style.  i was a very shy girl who loved the romance of post punk and grunge and who occasionally threw on a dress that was all wrong.  my wardrobe was the bare minimum.  i was not a spoiled child and the world was a very different place being a kid in the 80s and 90s than it is now for my own child.  in high school i was not the girl who had her look all together.  i did not spend saturdays at the mall.  i left home at 18 and pretty much took care of myself, which meant my non-existent wardrobe matched my non-existent bank account and my non-existent confidence.  i developed a taste for vintage military, and found my first leather jacket at a thrift store.  my style inspiration was more masculine ironically.  it was then that i discovered the occasional pleasure in wearing the sexy little black dress. i usually combined those looks.

jeffrey lee pierce...  monica bellucci... perfection...

in my 20s and as a young divorced mother with one small child, i mostly denied myself pretty clothes, and i really mostly wore grunge jeans and leather jackets and had a shaky sense of self and a cute dress or two, but i really wanted to wear tasha tudors long calico dresses and live in a rustic cottage surrounded by masses and masses of flowers and dogs, which in fact was kind of my reality when alice was growing up, and someday i will return to that, only with better dresses than the first time around perhaps...

two and a half years ago, when my mother passed away, i had an epiphany.  i realized that everything matters.  everything.  every choice we make matters, and we can dress life up, and revel in it, or we can dumb it down and wait for our next life.  not personally believing in reincarnation, i started realizing that this is it.  this is my someday.  this is my material life.  this is my time.  living in the body i was blessed with.  right now.  today.  that now i am finally a grown up.  that both of my parents are gone youngish really sent things home for me.  i suppose some sort of existential panic set in, but with that also came a type of euphoria.  i wanted and needed to live my life fully in every way.  to not put off life.  to feel this brush of silk on my legs as i walked.  i wanted to hear my skirts swish.  wanted to enjoy every single moment and all of my senses.

i thought about my beautiful mother and the seven year battle she had just lost, but lost with style though.  it was a vicious cycle of illness and treatment and then remission.  her beautiful hair would grow back, and she would gain weight and feel well.  the hair would become shiny again, and out would come the jet black dye, and the eyeliner and eyeshadow would re-appear, and all of a sudden my mother was back.  in all her glory.  she felt her power in her physical manifestation and i can't say that i blame her.  her body and her beauty gave her great pleasure, and should have!  i truly don't believe looks don't matter.  that concept is utter drab nonsense, invented by a fool.  or a mouse.  when i remember my gloriously beautiful mother it was the woman who teased and sprayed her hair.  her gardenia perfume.  her fuchsia silk blouse and fuchsia raw silk palazzo pants.  her favorite powder blue beaded evening dress and her always polished pink nails.  i don't think those things are trivial and insignificant because those things matched and mirrored her rich and flamboyant mind.  not at all.  we are all physical beings just as much as spirit and intellect and ever since then I have compulsively and euphorically dignified and dressed every day of my life like the lisa douglas of my childhood dreams.  life is not practice.  it is a big enormous production, and i for one want to revel in my femininity every day.  it is now my turn to douse myself in my favorite perfume and wear ballgowns during the day if i so please.  i don't need to ask permission to dress up for trivial occasions, since i don't believe any part of my life is trivial.

key items I can not be without:

my black leather jacket

my vintage harris tweed coat

long chiffon dresses

black nail polish chanel gris obscure

vintage wide leg jeans
calico skirts

cocktail rings

round toe shoes 

black boots

satin marabou heels
eyeliner

i layer my fragrances, and they all seem to marry well.  i smell a little bit different every day.  my favorite scents are:

krigler patchouli

santa maria novella aqua di colonia

fifi chachnil

portrait of a lady

  i am highly allergic to almost everything so my routine is minimal and i use very simple products:

plain old fashioned nivea creme

 burts bees vitamin e oil for my body

cerave hydrating facial cleanser
ivory soap

 jo malone red roses

mason pearson brushes

hair clips and barrettes.  tortoise clips from the drugstore, or sparkly dazzlers.  anna sui always has a pretty selection on their counter

kerastase shampoo and conditioner

things you will never find me wearing:

handbags costing as much as a car
anything with big initials on it

leggings and tennis shoes

down coats 

flat shoes barring a few exceptions

hermes scarves.  i never wear them and they are collecting dust in my closet.  thinking i should sew up some pretty pillows

clothes i love:

vintage! 

anna sui
preen

the vampires wife

target

fifichachnil

some facts about me:

i am 5'8 1/2

 am a capricorn

 wear high heels 

 truly wear maribou on an almost daily basis

 do not watch tv

 am a dog person

prefer sweet over salt

 enjoy being overdressed
have  seriously grungy side

 am obsessed with manicures

 love clothes but not fashion

 adore the color pink
love lace
the color black

 am flower obsessed, especially roses and cosmos, zinnias and wisteria

 do not leave the house without a big hat and sunglasses

 love the underbelly of america.  dirty dusty road trips.  truck stops and desolate diners.

i eat dinner every night with silver flatware and candlelight

i love and need the balance of casual and formal